SSRIs Leaving Me Dull

I have noticed lately that getting the motivation to do much of anything has been like pulling teeth. I'll be on the couch and wanting in some part of my mind to go on a walk, but the "bed gravity" is intense.

I've also felt a lot like my lungs are having a hard time. That may be unrelated and due to some cold that's been going around. I'm already feeling a bit better today. More on that later...

It would seem that having another discussion with my doctor may be in order. It's been a short while since he put me on a new medication in addition to my SSRI to try to bring me back up.

This whole adventure of trying to get myself properly medicated to function in society has been long and ongoing. I get why people jump ship and decide to not medicate for their issues. When you're on the wrong mix, or the mix that you're on stops working, it can feel quite frustrating and like the state you started in was not so bad after all.

That said, I'm a big proponent of the idea, "if you can't make your own dopamine, store-bought is fine."

This means if you can't regulate your own brain chemistry naturally, it's good to have a little help from some medication and I really have experienced some positive changes from being medicated.

That said this whole adventure has come at a time in my life of vast change. Change in friend groups, change in hobbies, change in responsibilities, changes in my own body, and changes in my mental health care.

It becomes hard to really pin down what may or may not be working when there are so many variables changing at once and I am tempted to be patient with the process – not something I would have likely felt when I was unmedicated and self-medicating for ADHD with unhealthy levels of caffeine.

That said; some of the most productive times of my life were before I started being medicated. My biggest push for pretty much running the VR department for the local furry convention came before I had even tried Vivance.

It's tempting to think that I could go back to that state but those around me, especially my spouse, have noticed a much more positive attitude and less tendency to be quick to anger or act out in unhealthy ways.

Those are not things I want to go back to so I think I'll stay the course, but a doctor's visit may be in order. Victoria has suggested that maybe there's another SSRI that won't leave me so drained that I can switch to. Let's try asking the doctor about that one...